Product Recall

Ok ladies, hounded by the blokes I put on sale recently, I have to recall the products advertised. No, not coz they were faulty, they're still in decent perfomance condition *wink wink* (note I said decent only), but coz they were complaining about the criteria I placed for applicants!!

Bloke02 insists that only gals age between 20 & 26 can apply. Repeat, max is 26 NOT 28yo. Yeah as if from 26-28, boobs will sag 5cm or more & elasticity reduces by 0.013% Jeez!!!
His friends are also now telling me he's no longer into sggirls.com but upgraded himself to PornTube.com! Talk about motivation man!

Due to extreme demand, here's unvailing his great (*clear throat*) looks... drum pls xxxx....

k lah, to be fair - this pic dun do him justice

Forever a light bulb....

As for bloke01, he's like possessed in his own world of downloading, way too engrossed in the FREEdom to download the entire FREE world ...he told me he doesn't care so long as he doesn't get arrested. I have to be careful not to offend him as well coz my Greys Anatomy is dependent on him.

Its quite obvious thou, that his ability to live in the non-free real world is slowly diminishing. Coz the other day he happily thot he was invited to this young 21yo chick's (neighbour) birthday party, only to realise that the note merely served to INFORM him, not INVITE him....aw....poor thing...for a moment he thot he'd hit the JackPot!

Happy 32....soon...

The Story of A Red Chair

Once upon a time, there lived a red chair in the town called Prymont. This red chair lived side by side with her twin sister whom she has never parted since 'birth', and a glamorous friend called Plasma. They led a generally luxurious life - meeting Ass-ses, Butts & Cheeks from all walks of life. Ps: except they get the shits when some idiotic visitors give out smelly gases straight into their faces...

This red chair woke up one morning, not knowing that her life was about to be changed forever. First, her owner Kian Lee made her squeeze through a door and then locked her in a dark coffin like space called Lexus. And after what's been the most bumpy & pukish ride ever in her life (with Kian's famous driving skills), she arrived in a town called Waverton. She was then forced to squeeze through another door, this time even smaller. To her dismay, when the door opened, she saw this tiny little messy unit which seemed to have a bedroom set up at every corner of the house!! And wait...what?!! she hears a crying baby...."OH MY GOD! NOT A CRYING BABY?!!!"

The red chair complains:
"Talk about tong ren bu tong ming! Why me? Why not my twin? Not only do I now have to face this woman's HUGE BUTT everyday, I have to wake up every 3 hours! Plus I get yucky milk puke all over me! And, and there's this hairy white thing called cat who scratches me, causes me sniff non-stop with all her hair shedding all over me! Then I get wack as HUGE BUTT screams 'Get off Dixie' ! Yes I, I get wack for doing nothing! Then I get suck & molested by this loud thing called Vaccuum cleaner! I mean its not fair! Get me back to Prymont!!"

*******************************************

Dear Edgar & Kian

Dun worry, your chair didn't suffer that much, suffered for sure, but not as bad :)
Thanks so much for your kindness & generosity in lending us the chair during the toughest yet most rewarding period of my life. We protected her as much as we possibly could...

You should be glad to know that you have contributed to the growth of our little one. yes, literally, coz he was on this red chair since birth, nourished & nutured ON it. He now loves to sit on it, I know, coz he smiles & stops fussing everytime I place him on the chair. We will miss this chair for sure. And so will Dixie....

Sincerely, from the bottom of our hearts - the mini Chu family, thank you... :)

Hugs & kisses

Michelle, Brian & little Ethan

Blokes For Sale

Attention all Sui Cha Bos

2 blokes currently available for dating

If interested, pls post onto comment to attain phone number

**This is NOT a joke**

Pls help save them

Coz, to more desperate men in market, Australia says No!

BLOKE 1:

Sensitive new age guy. Jaded by women and about women. At times appear to love gadgets & cars more than girls. Spokesperson for the "Do not buy real DVDs campaign, spends half the weekend downloading FREE movies off the net, while insisting that none are porn.

Dog lover and ex-cat hater. Do not wish to have own kids but love to play with someone else's kids. Major fan of comic books & animation, especially those japanese girl-fight-girl-almost-nude computer games.

Have an amazing power of luck when it comes to parking, but somehow dead certain that he offended the God-of-Road-Safety in his previous life. Energetic & bubbly most of the time except for the after meals 'SI-BE-BA need to NUA look'.

Interested? You must love dogs. Be tall & slim, and most importantly, you MUST have a pretty 'hardie' life to withstand/ survive road accidents. For more info, log onto www.asian-banana.blogspot.com

BLOKE 2: (picture coming soon)

Self-professed lousy, bo-chap boyfrend (honesty ladies?). Constantly being called 'Uncle' due to an incurable desire & urge to be near xiao mei-meis. Spends lonely nights surfing 'sg girls.com, and then complains of insufficient sleep.

Always lamenting that he's eaten too much, and yet never seem to say 'no thanks' when offered more food. Would like a baby of his own, but can't seem to find someone willing to have his.

Owns a dog, but dun love it enough to know that he brought home a wrong dog. Collects a stash of premium red wine but not willing to share with that special someone. A talented photographer. Good with hand (*pun intended*).

Interested? You must be taller than him (that's easy ladies!), dun like being pampered, and most importantly, you must NOT control what & how much he eats. Oh...might I add - only age between 20 & 28 may apply (younger the better).