Dejavu

Back to work today. Feels so strange to be sitting at a desk & mingling with 'other people' other than my baby after 6 months! But still talking about my baby coz that's what everyone asks when they see me...which is good...coz I do miss him.

T'was quite difficult for me to leave little Ethan this morning. Come to think of it, I have never left him for more than 3 hours in a day ever before. He on the other hand, was completely oblivious... didn't seem like he'd be missing me at all!! Ungrateful little brat!!

Anyways, was getting some complaints that I haven't been posting new pics of Ethan - here are some of him learning to crawl :)

Tomorrow

I am returning to work tomorrow. This time its for REAL.

Somehow I feel ...... dun quite know how to describe my feelings. Sad is not the word. Lost/ guilty perhaps? I look at Ethan and I feel apolegetic - for 'abandoning' him? I know, all my friends say that just coz I need to work, doesn't make me a bad mom. So many moms are doing it, its just life etc....but I can't help it, like I'm not giving him the best.

I know I'll miss him, ALOT. I know I need to learn to let go and to trust.
I just hope its worth it.

Miracle of Life

There's a program called Saving Babies currently showing on Ten. Basically its a show that documents stories of newborns requiring immediate medical attention. In the Intensive Care Unit, lives of the smallest babies imaginable are being saved. Covering long-term problems diagnosed while the baby is in the womb, to unexpected complications soon after birth.

It is simply heart wrenching watching how some of the tiniest babies fit into the palm of your hands and yet have to go through intricate heart or brain surgery. There are cases where babies are born with kidneys outside their body; hole in the muscle wall between chest and abdomen; intestines being grown into chest, squashing lungs and heart; internal organs grown into umbillica cord, missing bones etc. Some surgeries even require baby's heart to stop for half an hour while surgeon fixes the problem!!

It is watching real stories like this that reminds us to appreciate that Ethan is born w great health with everything he needs in the right places. And so to all who are pregnant with golden pig babies this year - Vivian, Bessy, Mabel, Cindy, Penny and my sister....I'll be praying for you, both mom and bub....doesn't matter boy or gal....just good health with no complications....take care my frens.

God IS Good!!!

Today is my first day at work.

Yes my 1st day on the job as a Stay Home Mom.

Honestly, I was quite apprehensive at first, wondering if I could do it : look after Ethan + making dinner, ironing and all. From Ethan's birth till now, I've always had the luxury of a second pair of hands - first was my mom, then was my mil. Today, I am all by myself.

I started the day with a prayer, simply asking that all will be well & that Ethan doesn't fuss so much. The day started...well...not really positively coz for some reason, Ethan just didn't want to be left alone. Everytime I was out of sight, he cried. Even when I put him on his chair with me in view, he fussed. Basically, he just wanted to be carried!! Super high maintenance bub.

After what was, I would say, a hectic but manageble afternoon, a miracle happened. Yup, a miracle.

Little Ethan boy fell asleep on my bed!!

That never happens coz he always need to be rocked in the hammock in order to sleep. And when I say rock, I mean some pretty constant 'one-arm-push-up' is needed. Actually I dun quite know how it happened. Recall: he was fussing, so I took him into the room, placed him on my bed to calm him down a little. Then I gave him his dummy (for a quick quiet-fix). He had a semi-drowsy look on his face, so I thot...maybe pat him for a while...the more I pat, the smaller his eyes became...pat pat pat....wahla...he fell asleep! This moment, I had to capture (as proof so Brian will believe me). Thou' the nap only lasted for 30 mins, I think I have been rewarded...

Considering that today is my first + the fact that I only started to 'un-swaddle' him yesterday, I think I did great! Pat myself on a job well done!! Heehee, be paiseh one....

See God IS Good.