Separation Sadness

Thinking back what I said in my 1st posted blog that 'Time no longer flies' - I had to take it back yesterday. Why? Time has come for my mom to return to Singapore...Just why do good things always seem to pass so much faster? Can't describe how I felt on the way to the airport and sending her off. Its like a feeling of emptiness simply overwhelms you & grabs you in the throat.
Actually watching her pack was sad enough...

I guess its coz I have been so reliant on her for the past 2 months with the care of the baby. She's done nothing but look after every need and detail of me and Ethan - from making soup for me to carrying Ethan for hours and hours in the wee hours of the night so that everyone else can sleep, to preparing bath for Ethan, to the tiniest thing such as making sure there's cooled boiled water for me to drink (she's paranoid about filtered tap water). What more can anyone ask for in a mom & grandma?!

My message to Ethan before Grandma left "make sure you remember this face who carried you night after night so that you could sleep soundly.... ain't gona happen no more coz you gota learn how to sleep on your own from now on... (not a gd habit anyways)"



Seems just not long ago we went to pick her up so happily from the airport, when I was still pregnant with Ethan, not due till a week later so that mom and daughter can spend a week walking the streets of Sydney. I had all the plans in the world to bring her to places for coffee, doing our nails & weekend markets to go etc. But Ethan was eager to see grandma I guess, so he decided to pop a week earlier. With all the fuss & buzz for the past 2 months, all my plans with my mom were flushed down the drain.
Well, maybe not all, at least I did manage to bring her for her favourite Japanese food, a lobster dinner & we did have Sydney-sider coffee & breakfast a few mornings.
Can't imagine that it'll be till end of next year before we see her again. Gosh, by then Ethan would be about 1 year old!

Reality hit me at 1nish am this morning when I woke up to feed Ethan - coz this time I had to go out & bring him in for feeding...rather than my mom bringing him in for me & even straightening the wrap nicely for me so that I could pop him right back after his feed. After the feed I called my dad to check if she's arrived in Singapore. She said "yes I have landed safely. Go to bed, you must be tired." At that point, tears rolled down my cheek...

For all these little things and more, I thank you mom.